Reflection - You cannot bear it now

http://www.usccb.org/bible/readings/052417.cfm
Acts 17:15, 22-18:1
John 16:12-15

Children, even from infancy, have many things to teach adults. They instruct on the rewards of curiosity, the necessity of trial and error, the benefits of persistence. They demonstrate the joy of the simple things in life---like blowing a raspberry when your mouth is full of Gerber oatmeal with bananas. They offer tutorials on the experience of chewing on one's toes. They exemplify in their more raucous behavior the  imperative for a loving presence.

Still, there are things they do not, can not know. The brevity of their lives, measured in weeks or months or even a few years, has yet to provide the life experience for understanding. Or the burden is too weighty. Or their sense of direction has yet to be fully developed. Or they have yet to acquire the requisite personal strength. So, there are times when they don't understand, times when their "why?" is an unanswerable question, times when they seek to explore the recesses of life currently beyond their reach. In those situations adults generally respond by temporarily setting aside the matter: "I have much more to tell you, but you cannot bear it now."

When I first read the passage from John's sixteenth chapter, I was struck by the ambiguity in Jesus' comment, particularly the word 'bear.' I could imagine his view of the Apostle's limitations, considering the immaturity they had previously shone. But exactly how did he mean for his words to be understood? Curiosity led to the dictionary and the dictionary led to enhanced ambiguity. I rephrased the statement, testing a variety of definitions in an attempt to clarify the message.

"I have other painful things to telł you, but your consequent suffering would be more than you can handle now."

"I have more to tell you about your proper course in life, but at the moment you are incapable of rightly establishing your life direction."

"I have more to tell you, but neither your minds nor your hearts are capable of absorbing them at the moment."

"I have more to tell you, but you're not currently strong enough to support the burden."

"I have more to tell you, but you are not yet capable of taking the fullness of my message to others."

Each of these restates Jesus' original statement using a different definition of the word 'bear.' All appear equally possible considering the setting in which the words are spoken and our knowledge of what is to come.  All were things that the Apostles did not, and could not know; things they did not, could not do.

What comes next in Jesus remarks provides some clarification. "But when he comes, the Spirit of truth," he said, "he will guide you to all truth." Whatever it was that the Apostles could not bear that evening at table would become bear-able with the living presence of the Spirit. But then, this makes all the variations in the sense of the word "bear" meaningful.

Whether it was the consequent suffering that they could not bear. . . 

     Or the way to get their bearings from Jesus' map of life. . . .

     Or the necessary understanding of mind and heart. . . .

     Or the personal inner strength. . . .

     Or the ability to proclaim the Gospel. . . 

All of these would become possible when the Spirit came. Until then, they were unbearable. 

Jesus speaks to me in these words. Like those who sat at table with Him I too have limitations when it comes to prayer, and getting my bearings, and understanding, and having an inner strength, and proclaiming the Good News. And why not? Am I better off than those who lived in His physical presence? Am I spiritually stronger than those who conversed directly with him? Am I more intelligent or more kind-hearted? Do I not also have spiritual baggage that needs to be re-evaluated? The answer to all of these, of course, is a resounding "NO!" Without His Spirit so much is just not possible.

For this reason I often thank God for the many years of my life. They've given me time to reconsider all that I thought I knew, so the Spirit could provide his own lessons" They've given me time to unlearn what the Spirit didn't' teach and to more frequently recalculate whether my bearings for the course of my life are aligned with the one star by which I should be guided.

What I said of children at the beginning has, and does apply equally to me. There are things I do not, can not know. The brevity of my life, measured in years or decades or generations has yet to provide the life experience necessary for understanding. Or the burden is too weighty. Or my sense of direction has yet to be fully developed. Or I have yet to acquire the requisite personal strength.

So, there are times when I don't understand, times when my "why?" is an unanswerable question, times when I seek to explore the recesses of life currently beyond my reach. In those situations God generally respond by temporarily setting aside the matter: "I have much more to tell you, but you cannot bear it now." In the meantime, the struggle to let the Spirit teach and lead and show the way is an ongoing battle.