Reflection - Forests

http://www.usccb.org/bible/readings/020120.cfm
2 Samuel 12:1-7, 10-17
Mark 4:35-41

Some thoughts, some ideas persist even when you ignore them. Last Saturday’s readings (the current day from which we draw our readings for these reflections) were all concerned with Paul’s conversion, a scene with which most are somewhat familiar, but in which most of us mentally include a horse for Paul to fall off of. The horse isn’t in the text.

At any rate, I was just getting over a cold last week and my brain was too foggy for a reflection worth recording, even though the subject matter seemed clearly suggested by the texts. The next day was Sunday and the readings began with a passage from Isaiah: “The people who have walked in darkness have seen a great light.” Immediately my thoughts turned back to Paul in the Saturday readings and the light which had blinded him. But the Scriptures weren’t done adding ingredients to my reflection stew-pot. The Gospel went on to talk about the call of Simon (Peter) and Andrew, James and John. So there it was: the call (conversion) of Paul, the call of Simon, the call of Andrew, the call of James and the call of John. I was beginning to suspect a pattern here. Well, duh!

I turned to the next Saturday to see what it would bring. It brought King David.

David had been called by God to be Israel’s king, specifically because the Lord himself identified him as “a man after my own heart.” But even such a man as David found it hard to remain true and he was called out by the prophet Nathan for his failure. The pieces were in place; and the clouded mind of the previous week had cleared. The thought which had been merely a dormant free-floating germ the previous week, like a marble rolling around on an empty table finally began to find some stability.

Reading about Paul, the four would-be Apostles and King David sent me down a path of exploring and reflecting on God’s guidance.

Paul was knocked off his horse of pharisaical righteousness with an abruptness that could not be ignored. The four soon-to-be Apostles got a personal, concrete invitation to physically follow Jesus. David was corrected by a prophet and took the chastisement to heart. Each story speaks of an unmistakable involvement by God in the lives of these men. What do these incidents say to me? And where has God been in my life? I’ve never been knocked off a horse or seen a blinding light. As far as I can remember I never got a personal invitation. Neither have I been visited by a prophet. Nevertheless, age gives perspective; and, pulling back the shrouds which obscured the value of certain events, re-ordered incidents from my past so that I could see them in a larger picture than I had before — sort of like the standard problem of not seeing the forest because of the trees.

Reviewing one memory after another I found that my disputes with God at the time of their occurrence as well as my inner turmoil at the changes to my life were myopic. Similarly, with the distance of passing years I can appreciate the value of blessings that were provided even though, at the time, I could not see them as blessings.

God and I have not always seen eye to eye; and the disparity in vision has hardly been because of God’s short sidedness. As I look back, I can almost see his hand — gently for the most part — directing me in one way or another. Hard and difficult twists and turns in my life can now be seen as, not only for the best, but as clearly necessary. Incidents which were the cause of suffering appear now as being unavoidable if I was to grow and mature. Incidents which I judged at the time to be merely tolerable have, with the perspective of passing time, become unmistakable blessings. All the pieces (at least all thatI have closely examined) bear the stamp of a God who works all things to the good for those who love him.

No horse, no invitation, no prophet — just his persistent and perpetual presence — a presence which has affirmed over and over: I’ve got you back!