Reflection - Leaving

http://www.usccb.org/bible/readings/050516-thursday-sixth-week-easter.cfm

Acts 18:1-8
John 16:16-20

As I considered the readings for this morning, especially the text from the gospel, it was apparent that both passages discussed leaving. Paul took his leave from the Jews who opposed him. Jesus tells the disciples that he's about to leave. My attention focused on the word; and when I looked it up, I was surprised at the subtle variations in meaning. It seems that 'leave' is a highly nuanced word. In the end, however, whatever the nuance, the fundamental, core meaning has to do with separation or departure. 

The particular Gospel passage given for this morning's reading is found only in John. The verses come in the middle of Jesus' words to the Apostles at the Last Supper. Scholars call it a discourse, but that sounds too much like a lecture. I prefer to call it a chat. John's gospel gives it five full chapters. We read here only five verses. Throughout this section, Jesus refers repeatedly to the fact that he is leaving; sometimes he does so in a subtle way, sometimes he is straightforward. 

Early on, as he speaks to the Apostles, Simon Peter is prompted to ask 'Lord, where are you going?' To which Jesus responds: "I go to prepare a place for you? And when I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also." From the beginning to the end of the entire section he reminds them of his impending departure.

"Yet a little while, and the world will see me no more." He says. (John 14:19)
"You heard me say to you, 'I go away.'" (John 14:28)
"I did not say  these things to you from the beginning, because I was with you. But now I am going to him who sent me." (John 16:4-5)

We watch and listen as Jesus prepares them for his departure. He has been with them three years during which time they have come to know one another. We watch and listen as he thoughtfully presents his final instructions. 

• He gives them an example as he washes their feet.
  
• He gives them a new commandment: that they should love one another as he has loved them. 
  
• He admonishes them to stay true. "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you; abide in my love." (John 15:9)
  
• He encourages them to keep believing. "I will not leave you desolate; I will come to you." (John 14:18)
  
• He cautions them that things might get tough. "If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you." (John 15:18)
  
• He promises not to leave them alone. "The Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things." (John 14:26)
  

The Apostles have been with him from the beginning. Together they had traveled far. The proclamation of 'good news', though well received by some, had been scorned and dismissed by those in charge. Now, the end approaches. The hour of ultimate decision draws near. These thoughts which Jesus shares are messages of heartfelt concern. It's almost embarrassing as we sit in on this intimate and private conversation.

The Apostles were young men, not fully mature, filled with the idealism and the impetuosity of youth. These were not men rigidly set in their ways. A radical change in their lives was still possible. But their immaturity could not be hidden. We glimpse it on occasion as they accompany Jesus on his journey.

Among those in this group were men who would attempt to walk on water.

• Men who spontaneously jumped from the boat to swim to meet Jesus.
  
• Men who would physically go to battle for him.
  
• Men who would assert their intention to go to Jerusalem to die with him.
  
• Men who, at the first sign of conflict would draw the sword and cut off a man's ear.
  

But these were also men who didn't fully understand. 

• One would deny that anything good could come from Galilee, and, on the turn of a phrase, would become a devoted disciple.
  
• Others would attempt to push little children aside.
  
• Most would patiently await the forceful establishment of God's kingdom by the warrior king messiah.
  
• All but one would abandon him to the cross.
  
• And, after he was buried and risen, even though they had seen him, they would return to their former lives of fishing. 

Leaving can be difficult; it can be hard even for an adult; but at this evening Passover meal Jesus addressed them exactly where they were: "Little children . . ."   "Little children, yet a little while I am with you." He said. "You will seek me; and as I said to the Jews so now I say to you, 'Where I am going you cannot come.'" (John 13:33) And later, after the resurrection, when he found them fishing, he would still address them in the same manner: "Children, have you caught any fish?" (John 21:5)

The Spirit had not yet come to them; and their own spirits are still enmeshed in limitations. 

Spiritual maturity has little to do with age or even experience. It has to do with our reception of and our response to the Spirit of Jesus that the Father sends.

It is when Paul is speaking to the Corinthians on receiving the Spirit that he comments on the subject of maturity. "When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways". (1Corinthians 13:11) His point is plain: once you truly receive the Spirit you can no longer live the life of the child. 

I would hate to think that my youthful infatuation with smoky incense and a multitude of candles, the mystery of chant and the elaborate ceremony of ritual, were the summation of my spiritual life today, as they were when I was young. But I had not yet received the fullness of God's Spirit then. Worse, even after having received the Spirit I was cautious about letting him have my life. Today I'm still cautious, struggling to discover the restraints I have placed on growth, continually beseeching the Lord for the wisdom to see and understand. Still, if I were to meet Jesus today I trust that he would no longer address me as a child, but rather as a brother and as a friend. That, at least, is what my heart would choose.