God's one-step program
God has a one-step program to help us love our enemies. That program is prayer.
By Norm McGraw
Loving one’s enemies is a high bar to achieve. But Jesus believes we can get there. If not, why would he say loving those who hate us is the way that we may be “children of your heavenly Father?” After all, what was his response to those who brutally crucified him? “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). That’s the premier example of loving those who despise you.
Saturday of the First Week of Lent
Deuteronomy 26:16-19
Matthew 5:43-48
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your heavenly Father, for he makes his sun rise on the bad and the good, and causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust.” (Matthew 5:43-45)
These are the key remarks from the second readings for the Mass on Saturday ending the first week of Lent. The first reading, from Deuteronomy, describes Moses telling the Israelites that they have agreement with God to follow His commandments. The responsorial psalm states how blessed those are who follow God’s laws. The second reading, from the end of the teachings of Jesus on the Sermon the Mount, culminates with his asking for us to “love” our enemies (insert the most despicable human that you can imagine). Christ also wants us to pray for them. Moreover, he tells us that is the way to be closer to God.
Loving your enemies — that’s a high mountain to climb. How do we get there? Can we get there?
Since many of us address this same issue, I sought the views of two of my close friends about this passage. One, who I’ve known since college, was raised as a Roman Catholic. However, he has been a “certain that I’m not certain” agnostic his entire adult life. He is also a believer in reincarnation. The second friend, who I have lunch with at least once a month, was raised by a father who practiced Judaism and a mother who lived in a Catholic convent until she was eighteen. My “believer” friend mentioned that she gained a sense of family and longing to be with God from Judaism, which existed before Christianity. But following the teachings of Jesus also linked her to Christianity.
Here’s how my friends interpreted the gospel reading.
My agnostic friend first laid down the philosophical foundation upon which he based his view. He commented that, if there is a God, He sees creation out of time. For God, there is no past, present, or future. Everything is NOW with Him. Even though we have free will, our future is predetermined. As he put it, “Everybody does the best he can all the time.” Every one of us, he continued, plays a different role in this play called life.
Regarding Jesus exhorting us to love our enemies, my agnostic friend admits that is a high bar to achieve. However, since hate as self-destructive, the opposite---love---is desired. As he put it, “Don’t hate!”
My other friend reflected on the gospel passage for two days before she responded. She concluded that while she could pray for those who persecute her, she couldn't love them. Discussing the issue further, she indicated that perhaps sometime in the future she could incrementally move in the direction that Jesus wishes her to go. But for now, she could not “love” her enemies.
My friends’ views, I believe, represent many who try to follow God’s request to love your enemies. I agree with my agnostic friend that we shouldn’t hate. An essential element of that emotion is “a decision to devalue a previously valued object.” When we hate, we really devalue ourselves. Moreover, the opposite of hate, love, is defined as “the unselfish, loyal, and benevolent concern for the good of another.”
I also agree with both of my friends that loving one’s enemies is a high bar to achieve. But Jesus believes we can get there. If not, why would he say loving those who hate us is the way that we may be “children of your heavenly Father?” After all, what was his response to those who brutally crucified him? “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). That’s the premier example of loving those who despise you.
How do we learn to love our enemies?
Well, God can help us. Alcoholics Anonymous has a twelve-step program to help those who cannot do it on their own to achieve sobriety. God has a one-step program to help us love our enemies. That program is prayer.
Praying to Him on a regular basis always leads us to a better relationship with the Almighty. A simple prayer may unlock the answer to our question, something like:
Dear God. Show me the way to rid my heart of hate. I’m not smart enough to do this on my own. Show me, Lord, the path to love those whom I hate. Help me change my ways so that I will pray for their souls. Help me conquer my confusion and vitriol so that I can declare “I love my enemies.” Guide me, Lord, so that I may grow closer to you. Amen.