Pseudo-protests at the beach

This is California’s beach cities we’re talking about, folks. The West Coast state is the vapid protest capital of hippies and upset students. Philadelphia, Atlanta, and New York City. Those are protest places worth their salt. Tom Hanks should be standing with his hands on his hips and yelling at the journalists, “There’s no protests in California!”

The simulated B-role of pictures and video on the news looks nothing like angry and upset people. 

We’re all looking at folks standing around the sidewalks at the beach, hoping to walk on the sand and dip their toes into the frothy slips of waves that peter out so quickly your ankles hardly get wet. California beaches are the safest places to sun yourself in the world. The closest thing to a pickpocket is the overweight fellow wielding a metal seeking wand. People standing on the curbs haven’t the protest sense to just walk out on the sand and sit down. They’re so polite they’re bunched up like they’re at a parade, rather than a protest march. Nobody’s marching around.

And the police are as kind and easy-going as the wandering paraders. They hold their hands in an invisible fence manner and move the caterpillar crowd gently away from a potential bump in the butt by a car going 1 mile an hour. We’re seeing the rumps of horses standing in a 30-foot section of curb holding absolutely nobody at bay. 

I noticed one sign that said, “I want to go swimming!” Geez. How protesty is that?

And, not one mask. Everybody out there looked like they were no more afraid of the cops than they were of COVID-19. The social distancing only existed between the cars and the crowds. It looked like the cars were more afraid than the people. Can cars catch this virus? I don’t think that is possible, but the mood and confusion of Californians seems to leave that likelihood open.

I’m proud of these Californians. They’ve elected the most liberal non-balanced bunch of politicians in the history of these patriotic states, and now we know why.

They’re too nice. They have no idea what problems actually exist in the world. The sun comes out, the breeze blows the crappy air into the sea or the mountains, and the beer and druges are cheap. The wealthy get taxed up to their eyeballs and they’re fine with it because above their eyeballs sits plenty more money, assets, and power. The poor live in tents in the sun and have cell phones and sugary snacks given to them by the biggest bunch of clueless nice people on the planet. It’s the only place in the United States where someone can take a dump on the sidewalk and everybody feels sorry for the guy taking the dump.

This isn’t a protest. This is people getting some exercise and going down to look at the beach. There are as many people driving in cars as are walking in the protest parade.

We all know they’ll open the beach in a few days. In that sense, the protest worked. It’s because the politicians are also too nice. They want to be tough, but they’ve never been rougher than handful of kale.

The people, the wealthy, the cops, the poor, the politicians, and even the churches are one bucketload of nice people after another. The rich will end up paying for the folks out of work anyway. So, what’s really to get so upset about. Other than not getting to go to the beach.

They’ll open the beach. Everybody will be happy again, except the rest of the country watching and wondering what in the heck is going on in California?

Nothing, really. They’re just too nice.